Love Letter

＊英文です
＊星空文庫と重複投稿しています。
This is a story of a girl who wanted to end her life by drowning herself into the sea. However, she finds a bottle carried by the tides. Her discovery of the letters inside the bottle turns her world around. 

I’ve always loved the moment when the salty wind breezed on me from head to toe. The bright sunlight dried out my eyes and crisped my skin with its burning ray, but that too was something beloved to me as part of the elements of a tropical beach. Walking with bare feet on the shore, I enjoyed my last beach clean-up that I’ve been doing for nearly ten years of my life as a routine. While picking up small shards of glass that were lying beside my feet, I looked up at the few trashes spread on the remaining area of the beach. Seeing that there were only few to pick up, I was ready to end everything; both the clean-up and my life that I lived for seventeen years.

While the last few trashes were picked up, memories of the past were projected vividly in my mind; memories which contained the very reason why I made a decision to leave this world with my own will.


* * * * * *


Nothing was surprising for me to become the victim of a special “prank” as I entered the school gate. Nearly a year has passed since it began. The first few “pranks” were cruel but mild. Each day my belongings would disappear from where I placed it last. Eventually, they returned to my possession after I searched for a while. Writing utensils, P.E. uniforms, shoes, and name all the other school materials. All of those were stolen at least once.

To be honest, I was never upset about my things getting lost. It was simply inconvenient and that’s all. No one really cared about my school grades anyway. After my parents died by an accident when I turned fifteen, my grades in school became my least priority. Studying had less meaning in my life, therefore, no actual harm was made by the disappearance of supplies. I wouldn’t mind them stealing my possessions as long as I could pass the minimum grade to graduate high school.

However, soon after the culprit of the disappearing materials figured out my faint reaction towards the matter, she (or he) had decided to change the method. Now my watch, cell phone, and music player, which were all costly among my property, were gone forever.

“Troublesome” would be the perfect word to describe my feelings. Just because I started dating with the most popular boy in school, all atitudes towards me changed. All because I, an outsider, had accepted Luciano’s love.

Luciano, an Italian boy who is the most handsome guy in school. His gentleness and sweet words attracted all women he met on campus. Thinking that he had millions to choose a girl from, it was rather a shock when he proposed to me one day. I never understood why he chose me but I had the same feeling towards him too. There was no reason to deny him.

However, ever since he learned about the bullying, he never came near me. It broke my heart. Not because he distanced from me, but because he’s done it to protect me from further harm. As expected, rumors of our breakup spread quickly as lightening. Fortunately, the intense atmosphere in school seemed to have gone away for a while.


* * * * * *


“Get out of town, Outsider.”

What was unexpected was the continuation of the bullying. Whether or not I was Luciano’s girlfriend didn’t really matter to them. The truth is, they disliked me from the beginning. No one likes a girl who was born from an Asian family in this area. The complete difference in appearance was enough for them to feel disgusted about me. The fact that I went out with Luciano simply was a trigger, or so called “excuse,” for them to take action.

Day by day, the bullying became more obvious, physical, and violent. People would shove me down the stairs quite often by “accident.” Sudden rain of waste water would pour from above when I use the restroom. Couple of X-acto knives would be hidden in my bag, ready to feast on my flesh. My body had no more area to make new wounds in the end. I was tired of life.

Luciano was the cause but he was also my hope. I went to seek Luciano for comfort. Even if he had left me, I believed in him. I still believed that I was someone important to him. I had no doubt that I still had a place in his heart.

When I made a turn in the hallway to head to his class, my heart sank in dispair. A beautiful blond hair was being played by Luciano’s fingers while his lips were on hers. He made a new girlfriend.


* * * * * *


All trashes were sorted into burnable and nonburnable. The mouths of the large bags, both only half filled, were knotted tightly. Leaving it on the side of the road where it usually gets picked up by the dump truck, I turned my way towards the ocean.

Oh, how I longed for this moment. The sun high up in the western sky twinkled the suface of the ocean with its light. The beautiful water always gave comfort to my spirit and gave me strength when needed. The thought of ending my life in my blue comforter excited my heart.

Step by step, my feet headed into the deeper ocean. I felt my light blue jenes, which were folded high up to my knees, becoming heavy with water. Gently and slowly, my body would go under sea level. The white t-shirt I was wearing started to soak at my waist.

Half way there. Only half more and I won’t have to deal with anything among this world. I could finally meet my parents again.

As I was gazing afar and furthering my steps into the ocean, my right arm met a bottle that was carried by the tides. How troublesome. Just as my body was half under water, another trash distracts my death. I love the ocean but it has to be a clean one. It was against my will to die knowing that there’s trash in front of me. With a deep sigh, I took the bottle and went back up shore.

Feeling all the sands sticking on my wet clothes and skin, I sat on the beach to sort the glass bottle. Opening the tight metal cap, I pulled out the inside. Along with some water, a plastic bag came out. In the bag were couple of papers that were neatly folded in. It seemed to be purposefully placed inside the bottle. Wondering what the papers were, I wiped my wet hands on the dry part of the shirt. I discovered that those were letters as I unfolded them. Two letters written to a father by his family.

The first letter was written on a small pink paper with illustrations of flowers scattered all around. Alphabets were written in sloppy handwriting and were deeply carved into the paper. The strong pencil marks made it possible to feel the bumps on the back of the paper. This one was written by a child.

The second letter was written in neat handwriting, but with plenty of grammer mistakes. The other letter written on simple white paper was from the man’s wife.


* * * * * *


Dear Daddy,
I love you so much Daddy.
I will be a good girl, so please watch over us from heaven.
I will be a good big sister for Maria too!
Please say hi to Jesus for me. Thank you.
Love, Teresa


* * * * * *


Dear Beloved Husband,

First most important feelings I have is thank you. You gave life and hope to my terrible life I had. I remember still how we met at the streets in New York. An orphan girl I was in Russia was not liked by everyone. I goed to America to find peace. But no one liked Russian girl too. You was the first man to be nice to me. You taught me good English and loved me as your wife. You protect me from mean persons and taught me how to be good relationship with persons. I am sad when you left us but I am happy you went to heaven. You lived very good in this hard life. You did more than enough for me and for Teresa. Even if you gone from world, you give me still happy treasure. There is new life in my stomach. A new life born from me and you. Teresa gave name Maria. Just like you protect me like treasure, I protect them both like treasure because they is
precious things you gave me. It is my turn to protect life. Please have good time in heaven when waiting us to go to you.
Я люблю !
(I love you!)
Yurya


* * * * * *


Streams of tears were pouring down my cheeks. A salty taste different from the sea water spread in my mouth. The piece of paper that I found by accident was filled with love that I wanted for so long. I wanted nothing else but someone who would accept me as I was. Someone who would not judge me by the outside. Someone who would notice my darkness hidden behind my tough attitude. Someone. Someone. Someone.

Embracing myself as I cried, I stood up slowly and looked up at the ocean. It was beautiful. The ocean seemed to smile at me.

The next moment, a sudden realization struck me. What was I thinking of? What was I trying to do? It all seemed wrong from the moment. The ocean was my friend. It gave me comfort throughout my life. Letting her carry my dead body until it decays? No. Never. I’ve been cleaning up the beaches because I loved the clean ocean view. How ridiculous and stupid I was trying to become part of the trashes that contaminate my friend. How stupid of me. That someone whom I always longed for was her, the ocean.

Tears were gone by the time my heart was filled with guilt. For a moment, I paused on the spot and heard the waves talking to me; encouraging me. In a moment, my feeling of guilt and unrest was gone.

“It’s all right,” I thought to myself. It’s all over now.

I fixed the bottle as it was and threw it back into the water. Shouting I love you, thank you, and good bye to the water, I turned my back to the ocean to begin my life again. This time, I won’t give up.


THE END 

Thank you so much for reading. This is a piece that I wrote back in high school.
I did edit some grammar errors and spelling mistakes but I'm pretty sure it still needs a lot of work...
If you have any comments or corrections, please let me know ;)
I will be glad to have your input.